Lithium Road Trippin with Me
Where will we go today?
Until late 2016, I single-handedly navigated 20+ years with bipolar 1. Let me just say that period of my life was a total shit-show. Complete with two marriages, two divorces and two children. Apparently, the number two is a thing with me. I repeated toxic patterns, self medicated, and took stupid unhealthy risks. I look back and cannot fathom how or why I am still on this planet. I should have died many times.
For years I have expressed my desire to write. I am not a writer by profession; I have an MBA in Human Resources. I do, however, have a metric shit ton of junk in my head that I desperately need to get out. If this information I hold and suppress helps one person through a depressive or manic bipolar episode, I will share until someone emphatically says, “shut the hell up!” Probably not, but whatever. My blog, my rules.
Even with my overwhelming desire to write and hopefully help others through the process of my processing, I second guessed my ability and feared what others would think. Mental health is not exactly a “proper” topic of discussion in the U.S. It should be but it’s not. There is an ugly stigma attached to any mental health issue. We lump all mental health issues into one “big old bucket of crazy.” In recent years, we have started conversations, yet the stigma remains.
Anyway, I didn’t fear judgement from strangers. Honestly, I don’t give a fuck what strangers think! My road trips include stories that will rub salt in fresh wounds and rip open only slightly healed wounds. Wounds I so deeply suppress I can almost pretend they don’t exist. All of my road trips will be told in first person, from my perspective, no one else’s. This is my come to terms, self-discovery process. My journey is one-sided. My side. My side is the only side that matters. This is my mental health space. That is the reason I moved forward with my writing decision. This is for me. My mental health. My healing. Not yours.
That being said, I will try not to disclose any personally identifiable information about others who guest star in my life. Even though they play a major role, the who is less important than the what, how, why, and subsequent fallout. I will attempt to give enough information for clarity; however, if anything is confusing or unclear, reach out and I will be happy to clarify.
I navigate my life with bipolar 1. I will only speak to my experiences with bipolar 1. While I have some knowledge of other bipolar classifications; it is limited and I have no firsthand experience. Therefore, my road trips will strictly be from my experience with bipolar 1. Many of the classifications share the same symptoms and traits to varying extents. My intention in sharing my sometimes gut wrenching experiences is to educate, encourage, and support others. I feel my experiences will help those with bipolar disorders and those who care for individuals with bipolar disorders. Lithium Road Trips can sometimes feel like long, narrow, winding, one-way paths that lead to nowhere. Don’t worry, you always end up in the right place, in your own time.
